The Corrections    

Cease you not this endless yearning for one
Who will not return your favor?
Have you tasted her lips?
 They laugh.
Have you held her close?
 They chide.

How can you love?
What you cannot see?
 They mock
How can you cherish,
She who loves you not?
 
 They sneer  
What fools they are.  
To think that Love 
Is based only on flesh,

Is to ignore the Heart of my Soul
That beats for you,
That pulses constant within me,
That calls, unheard, to you.
 

 
Could I seek you,
As a Lover seeks his mate,
The one born out of time and space,
That returns,
And in blessed union
Recreates them as they were,
As one? 

I seek you as the sun seeks the sky,
For it is my nature to be where you are,   
You have corrected me in my path
By
 Thistles,  
By
 Thorns,
By
 Barbs 
By  Prickles,  
 
Have demanded obedience,
Have rejected my vow.
Tested my devotion,
Proved my love,
Unbound by demands,
Purely, wholly to you;
To the one who set our feet upon
This path.  
Have I failed you?
Many times.

I have yielded to the voices

Repeating what I longed to hear,
To stop and rest, 
Stay away
To bid you Fare you well,

Start my journey unto
Hades'  Exile dark and safe.  

How then have I not deserved
Stings
From
Your words,
From
Your darts.
The bites from your words?  

 
Yes, o beautiful Wisdom,  God’s Holy Daughter  
In my vanity I sought you as a man seeks  
A lass, yet not wholly so, for never  
Did I seek to possess you as a mortal man  
Seeks to posses a bride.  
Did I confound you with the lovely one that once walked  
Before my eyes and blinded them with love  
Of a sort never felt before in this heart?  

May haps t’was so, I am but flesh in the end,  
And go where all flesh goes.  
And thus go the way that flesh must go.  
Were I not enchanted by a maya  
Sent from on high, would I have been more  
True to you?

(Father, there is a truth in what he has said.  
Whence came she?
Who so enchanted him?  If not from you, then whence? Why this pain?)  
(Daughter, mine, you are Wisdom, but 
I AM THE SOURCE OF ALL)

(Father, that answer wouldn’t even work among mortals, I was blinded to the searching love of a pure student from my Ages past, blinded by his dream—for what purpose?)  

(Be still, child, all will be clear soon)  

Have I not failed you more than enough?
Yielded to the voice of self
 Dooming?
Has not the fool within me
Cried out
For release from the journey
No one bid me take?    

Do I still carry on the lie,

That all I do, I do for your sake?
Have not your chidings shown me truth,
That though my form is old,
My mind, drugged cold
Is worse than when I was a youth.
And still within my mind a fear deepest
Born starts again to stir,
The visions after winters past
That dreams that brought me to you
And to your mortal form, as well
A form your Father said,
Would send me straight to Hell.
 
 

 
(“Guide me, O thou Great Redeemer?”  

Father, I see it now, Sister Reason is opening my eyes. You gave her a face And form he could not turn away From if his immortal soul depended on it.  Why, Father Who Is Heaven, why? What vision, Father, what has he seen that you blind me to?)

Heart of my Soul, so far away, 
In distant lands held in prison deep, 
I heed your cry
I rise to my feet.  
I discard my armor  
Don the pilgrim’s cloak
Grey humble must I seek, 
Long long miles before we speak. 
Many suns will stare at me,  

Wonder how it is I walk alone,
Not with you.
 
People point, stare,
They laugh, 
They cry,
They
 Have their loves,
 They
 Have their pains
They
 Come they go,
They
 Are born, 
 They
 Die.
 
 
 

 
How is it that they know you not?
How is that they who claim
To know all,
Know you not?
Yet ages pass unto ages

Aeons unto Aeons as I trek.  
Yet was but a moment,
Maybe two more have gone,
Not a century, 
Nor even one full Day of Your Father’s Thought
Has been spent,
 In search of you
Whom I called Heaven Sent.
 
 
I yield to Earthly lusts,
Fall far from the sacred calling,
 Born of my will alone
Yet I cry that God has left me alone,

  In truth, I know,
Was neither God nor you, who left,
But my selfish pride that left me behind,
On my own profane, tedious quest.
How infinitely trite.
My pathetic mewling
Profane,
Not sacred, never pure,
Not after your exile from the Heart
By doubts, not by voices,    

Crying

Don’t believe,  
But by facing the darkness
That once was love I thought so pure
That it would have kept you safe
And away from all who sought you
From harm,
Had these old arms but an ounce of strength  

Your Father’s grace was filled in my weakness

My vows all-hollow were…    

(Dear Father, how much longer will you torture his poor soul?) (Silence, beloved daughter, you have yet A part of anger to unleash at him) (Father, I beg you not.)  

You then came to me and said

 Be silent

If you would seek me, put aside your vaunted self,
Return down from your lofty
Self created tower
How is it that you claim to seek me?
Yet claim to possess me?

O, Heart of My Soul,
My soul screams for you,
It’s core center,
Filled with doubts,
From your silent chastisement,
Can you not hear my plea?

 
 
(So, beloved daughter, on whom does he now call? Is it on you?  Or is his love for “her” all transcendent?) (Father why must any mortal be subject to this?) 

Heart of my Soul, 
So far away, in distant lands 
Held in prison deep, I heeded not your cry
I rise to my feet. I discard my armor  
Don the pilgrim’s cloak
Grey, Humble must I seek,
Long long miles before we speak. 

Many suns will stare at me,  
Wonder how it is I walk alone,
Not with you