The First Ending of the 
Light
 
Mountains, though not high, 
Covered up with a snowy coat, 
Ice covered pathways seek to trip my feet,
The journey's master fills his cart,
We sit in silence grim dark,
Riding as the master turns the wheel,
The descent to ending has begun.

 
No sun will light these deadened lands,
No heart will sing in joy,
The empty branches drip weep,
Their tears frozen still in motion
As a prayer hangs without devotion,
Unheard by
 He Who Is All That Is.

They who sit in gloom beside me, 
Afore me,
Behind me,
Stare with blind eyes out 
Dim windows, dirty with grime,
 See me not, know you not,
 Love me not.

I see a frozen lake before me,
No life upon it's hoary face, no lights
No huts of fishermen,
No children with their skates,
No moon, no stars,
Just clouds grayness
Your visage is so far away.

 
(Father, now, how many centuries later?  And still you torture him?
Why?  Is it for love of her, whom you created?) 

They asked me of you tonight,
I said, you were still hidden from my sight.
I knew not where you dwelt,
Whether within still walls so cold,
Or had you freed yourself from pain?

 
 
(Of whom does he speak, daughter, you or she?)
(Father, after all these years of pain, does it matter?  No jealousy
Rests within me.  Why do you pain them so?)

 
I know not, now, where you are,
Nor whither should I go.
Long nights have passed in silence here,
My devotion slowly yields to fear.
No message comes now to guide me,
I've lost the path in Flames of Snow,
Forgive me love,
I know not where, or how
To go to find you now.
 
A voice whispers in my ear
 
Have you forgotten whom you seek?
Has flesh come to rule your soul?
Is it a Woman for whom you cry?
Or My Daughter’s Hand
In yours
In Holy Union
That you seek?
 
I struggled with the echo,
For but a moment, then,
Dismissed It’s
Question
For my soul’s
Singular Salvation.
 
Too, now I hear, a call from other lands

A call the renders mute
The gentle sounds
Of the
I AM WHO AM

I slowly feel the self-assumed
Knighthood
Slip away from my shoulders,
The monk's cloak has fallen bare,
I stand alone, on darkened stairs
Wondering where to go?
Ahead rests a world
 

Called Reality,
Behind rest a broken dying
Dream
 
(Father, no, you can’t let it end this way—NO!) 
 
I feel the dream that one day anew the strength of He that I was
Will pour through my weakened bones,
Bathing me in fire,
 Stilling all desire,
Lifting me above
The world,
Viewing you as but a dream,
Your Father's call but an illusion,
I begin to feel for truth-- in shock
I realize.
 
 
 

 
The dream of you has ended, 
 
You are gone where you would be,
I can no longer seek for you,
For you have bade me seek no more.
 
(Daughter, now, do you begin to understand?  It’s not one or the other
he seeks, but both.)
 
(Then, Father let me redeem his error, I shall take mortal guise and..)
 
(No, daughter, you may not)
 
(Then as darkness falls upon the earthly man,
God expelled from his fear filled heart
As he who was your student 
Accuses His Teacher of deserting Him
When all you called for
Has faded once more…)
 
(My Father, all I asked from was his Love.
Will you not return him to me and cease his endless quest that leads
Him to naught?)
 
(I cannot)
 
(Or will not?)
 
(Is there a difference?)
 
(Father, you seem so cruel)
 
(Daughter, I am God!)
 
(But he believed in you, trusted in you.)
 
(If so, then why did he search for you, my daughter, Wisdom?)
 
(Father?)
 
(Should he not have sought my folly instead?)
 
(I don’t understand?)
 
(Daughter, men say “God’s folly is wiser then man’s wisdom)
 
(Then how can You expect a man’s wisdom,
Without mine, to approach yours?  And if it cannot,
Then how can they know not to seek me?  And if they are not
To seek me, why did you create me? 
Am I but a temptation away from Faith?)
 
(No child, you are one path to Faith, but a long a hard path
You are to mankind)
 
(Then why do you reproach and punish my children, my students,
For seeking me?)
 
(To teach those who know of you, that there is more, perhaps?)
 
(Father, I am not convinced, I have but to look upon him and ask,
Then was that the point of his poor life, and all his pain?
He never found me after all—so was he to suffer and die for my sake?)
 
(Not at all, daughter, not at all, for he is incapable, alone..)
 
(Yet you keep him from me with a dream of the one who was once a part of him)
 
(Should he not seek unity?)
 
(How can he live when you steal unity from him, Faith from him,
Then keep him from me?)
 
(He still stands, and so does she)
 
(Yet, now Father, they are apart forever, and he is lost to me again. 
What has been gained by this endless game?)
 
(Daughter, dear, they both have gained.)
 
(How so? What has she gained?
Again separate from the one true love she could have had?)
 
(Daughter, for all the rest of her life,
In her heart she will know she was loved both
Unconditionally,
 And as a woman
 Yet not so much for her flesh,
 As for her heart;
And so will keep a part
Of Heaven in her)
 
(Yes Father?  And him?)
 
(O, he will always remember her rejection
Of both his love unconditional
 And human
 And in his heart,
Possess a small amount
 Of Hell!)