Scene 2nd


Decker is alone, driving at night.  The Figures in Black move scenery across and behind his car windows.  The windows are down and he is singing…

DECKER: I really don’t have any idea why, why her? Then begins gently singing to himself,

DECKER: I’m too old to be in love

Not  again, not now, not  after all these years.

I dare not feel what my heartless soul longs to feel,

 I’m too old to dream of holding her,

 too old  to feel what my heart wants to feel.

  My Heart breaks for lack of what it never had,

  Dare not have, breaks for love of one

 I dare not love,

 I can not speak her name.

 I’m too old, too old to be in love,

In love with her

Not this time,

But what is this time?

Why do I long for her, the one I can not have?

I’m far too old to  feel what I want to feel,

 I dare not speak her name,

 The thought of her, of her sweet lips, 

untouched by mine. 

Never to be touched by mine,

Never to be touched by mine. 

Fear turns my poor heart cold, 

Ends thoughts of love before they dare begin

 I’m too old, too old to fall in love

 Not this time,

  Not NOW


But yet after all these years. 

 Shall I not feel what I long to feel?

Her lips are warm, or so I dream, I dream

Of her sweet lips constantly

Heaven awaits me in just one name,

A name I dare not say.

Yet, if heaven awaits me there.

Why do I delay?

 I fear the thought of her, I love the thought of her

 I dread the sight of her, I live for the sight of her

I wake from sleep and mourn the empty space

 Both in my bed, and in my heart….


 I’m too old, too old to feel this way,

Yet heaven rests, dear God, in her sweet name

I shall not love her, God, how I love her

 I’m too old

To fall in love……….Yet I am in love.


He stops singing, stops the car (that is the scenery stops moving and reveals him to be “parked” beside the edge of a forest.  Her voice echoes for a few moments, then all is silent.

DECKER: spoken strongly, angrily You are a fool!  An idiot of the worse sort.  and a god damn old fool at that— look in a mirror, ass hole—look at yourself! Wattles, for God’s sake, and a fat gut that nothing will remove.  Look at her, the perfect form, the healthiest body I’ve ever seen, even on a woman half her age.  Half her age? Half her age is a teenager.  God, I hate these thoughts.  Look at you Decker, look at you.  You’d have an affair with a student? AN Affair? –GOD! NO!, Love her, yes, be with her, yes.  Worship, sacrifice, and be with forever, yes!  An affair?  God, castrate me before such a thing ever occurs!  Kill me first!  Keep my filthy hands off her beautiful… beautiful beyond belief,  her face, the memory of her face— such exquisite agony I dare not even call it up.  God, is this what they mean by a “broken heart?”  At this age?  I’m insane! Maybe what I need is to die?  I’m feeling things that I shouldn’t ever have to feel again.  Dear God, why?  How can I love a woman, not want to sleep with her? To touch, her even—except to hold her when she’s sad? God in heaven, what’s wrong with me?  Has anyone ever been so lovely? Has any man ever felt so miserable?  Have I ever felt so lonely, so sad, so afraid? Why do I only feel complete when she’s near me? What is happening? God, why do I love her so?  What have you done to me?  Why can’t I get her out of mind?  HELP!!!! I need to talk to someone,

He starts the car, the scenery again begins moving,

I know, I’ll get over to the meeting house, there’ll be some guys there that --o, sure— damn old fool.  The place closes at 10, it’s 10:30 now . I think I’ll just go get a burger  at the  “Junkyard Dog” yeah, a coffee and a burger and…. what the Hell?  

He slams on the brakes and the stop jerks him forward.  As he looks through the windshield he sees a large mound in the middle of the road.  There is silence except for the chirping of crickets and tree toads.  The “lump” moves and reveals itself to be a large raccoon, staring directly at him—illuminated only by his headlights, and the overhead light in the car, they stare at each other.  Then the raccoon starts running around chasing its tail, in front of him.  It stops, looks and stares at him for a while longer, then repeats the action, chasing in the other direction, again it stops, and again it stares.

DECKER: I must be terrifying the thing.

He turns out the headlights, there is total darkness for a few moments—only the sight of fireflies lights the dark.  Then he turns the lights on. The length of this pause should be about the time it takes to say three “Ave Maria’s”  The raccoon is still in front of him and repeats its actions twice

DECKER: I’d better try and get around the thing,  it must be rabid or something, poor beast.

He drives around the raccoon, back stage to it, then on and off the stage

DECKER:  Coffee my ass, there goes my sobriety, and my life, and for what?  I haven’t learned a damn thing yet, have I?  Thank you, God of the Raccoon, thank you for saving me from going back  chasing my tail around in circles, again and again, and again and again.

..The sisters emerge from the wood once more.

LAURAL:  Close sister dear, too close.  But such inspiration, a raccoon? He’ll tell that tale for years to come. 

EILLAINE: The “Nameless One” is here somewhere, waiting.  If he had gone there tonight,  he might have been greeted with what he wanted, and offered death?

LAURAL: And not knowing that it was eternal death that awaited, the total removal from union and reunion. The eternal death of being outside…

EILLAINE: Rhiannon. 

Birds are heard singing for a moment, then all is silent, not even the normal night sounds

LAURAL: Did I hear something?

EILLAINE:  I thought, for a moment, but then—has the night taken a sudden chill? I feel so cold.

LAURAL:   I felt it too, must be a storm approaches.  They exit stage right, hurriedly

JACK PATCH: They seem so bewildered, these sisters, Wisdom  without reason and Reason without wisdom.  Bereft of their Heavenly stature,  yet more than mortal by their very nature.  Old as mankind, sought by only be those who already possess them, now they question their very being here.  If they knew Rhiannon’s true name and race,  they would understand so much more. Looking and speaking directly to the audience  It will all wait until tomorrow night, care to join us for some coffee at “The Devil’s Brew?”

He disappears off stage, the curtain falls.



Book ONE


The Past
The Hopeless State
Awakening Nightmare
The True Awakening
The Corrections
The Teacher Responds
The Flame Remembered
The First Ending of the Light
The End of the First Book

Table of Contents

Book TWO
Act One - Scene One
Act One - Scene Two
Act One - Scene Three
Act One - Scene Four
Act Two - Scene One
Act Two - Scene Two
Act Two - Scene Three
Act two - Scene Four





Copyright 2005 [Charles Grifor] 
All Rights Reserved